My Star
by tk-fan-4ever
Summary: Th fanfic,want 2 know whats it about? Well read and find out!Involves a baby and one or both of the boys might be dying. curious yet? Lol R&R thanx


Bill watched as Tom hoisted her little body up up into the blue blue sky. Watching his brother play with the little girl was interestinger then watching TV. At least his brother was happy. Bill sighed and stared at the lonely cloud drifting across the sky. Last year at this time he would have been outside playing with Tom and their baby but this year he was stuck in bed. Probably going to die the doctor had told him this but Bill hadn't told Tom yet. Why ruin his happiness? Nobody had thought Tom would make a good father but looking at him playing with the toddler anybody looking in would think it was his daughter. Bill didn't think Tom even realized what he was doing, didn't see the change in himself. He had gone from sex god/player to a caring father figure and Bill thought he liked his brother more this way he smiled real smiles and his eyes were softer then before as if now that he had a reason to be alive he was happy. Bill was happy for him but he still felt the shadow of death weighing done on his shoulders. The doctors had said it wasn't a definite thing he could still get well might even recover full use of his right hand that was the part that scared him the most, the being an invalid having to have someone help him all of the time. He hadn't worn full makeup in over a month but he was practicing to get it done right with his left hand.

Bill was jolted out of his thoughts by Tom's happy laughter. Toms head popped over the windowsill and Bill couldn't help but smile at his brother's rumpled appearance it looked like him and sage had been wrestling."Bill come out and play. Tom's eyes were bright and he looked like an eager little boy. Bill was about to shake his head sadly but he saw that Tom had expected him to."Only if you carry me."He told him and couldn't help but laugh as his brother's face brightened blindingly and he hopped up into Bills room right over the window sill. Bill smiled to himself Toms height had come in handy .Bill was lifted into the air as if he were a doll. The fact of the matter was that Bill weighed about as much as a doll at that point .He had always been really skinny now he was bones with some skin over them in fact the doctor had said if he didn't start eating soon the bones would burst through the skin. Bill thought that sounded rather painful but figured it couldn't be any more painful than the gnawing bleeding pain in his stomach he didn't know how they expected him to have an appetite when just the thought of food made his stomach do a painful flop.

Tom twisted his arms so Bill was on his back and grabbing a blanket walked quickly through the house out into the sunny afternoon there were birds singing in the huge tree there was still a few boards hanging dismally in the branches from the time when Tom and Bill had decided they wanted a tree fort.

Sage came over walking in the sorta waddling walk baby's have and sat down on the blanket with Tom and Bill she stared up at Bill with huge green eyes and then she giggled it was such a bubbly happy sound that they stopped talking to watch she waved and smiled at a lady passing by it must have kinda strange two men having such a small baby she stared for a second and walked on.

Tom started laughing and picking sage up spun in a circle faster and faster until they both collapsed on the ground in dizzy exhaustion. Bill was laughing with them but there was sadness in his eyes he wished he could have been spinning with them watching as the world around sped up and then blurred into nonexistence leaving the pain behind the sadness the might happens but it was as close as he would get was going to have to be when Tom and Sage did it."Hey Tom."Bills voice was soft and hesitant."Yea?" Bill twisted his hands starting to rethink his decision"Ummm... you know how I went to the hospital alone last time..."Bill's voice trailed off. Tom was looking at him expectantly Bill burst out in a rush "The doctor said there's an 80% chance that I'll never get better." Tom starring at him sitting up now."What are you saying Bill? You're going to die?"Tom's voice rose an octave on the last part."Umm probably." Bill's voice had lowered even more now it was a timid murmur. Tom felt the world shift beneath his feet it wasn't in his control he couldn't stop it, couldn't keep his little brother safe.

He felt Sage tugging at his sleeve he ignored it pushed all other thoughts to the back of his mind .the sun felt cold as if it were fingers of death come to take his little brother away from him.

Tom jumped to his feet grabbing Bill he almost ran for the house.

He had to get him away from those cold fingers had to get him back to the safety of his room.

Bill was scared not from the fact that Tom was running well carrying him and seemed have cracked it was from the look in his eyes when Bill had told him almost as though he had already dyed as if he could see his funeral see all the people dressed in black the tears the mourning. Bill had seen his eyes almost as if he were scared not scared, terrified, of what, he didn't know.

Tom ran back out the door scooped Sage up in one arm and the blanket in the other well juggling Sage he dropped the blanket not bothering to pick it up he pulled his phone out of one of his pockets and called George and Gustav he needed to get away right now or he was going to snap in front of Bill and the baby. Gustav got there in record time and Tom shoved Sage into his arms he kissed her on her forehead but his eyes were faraway, cold.

Gustav stared after him as Tom unlocked his cars doors and hopped in he hit the high way already going around 80. Gustav watched and felt a tingling of fore boding. He fed Sage and left her in her high chair mashing bananas all over the tray. If what he thought was true and Bill and Tom had gotten into a fight that probably meant Bill was either curled on his bed crying or starring in stony silence at the ceiling.

Gustav was leaning more towards the crying since he'd been miserable in the first place and getting into a fight was probably the last thing he wanted to do.

Gustav pushed Bill's door open softly and wasn't surprised to see Bill crying as he had expected. "How are you holding up?" He questioned quietly coming over to the bed side and adjusting Bill so that he would be more comfortable."I told him."Bill sobbed brokenly "A-and n-now h-he h-hates me!" He was sobbing loudly now and Gustav felt his heart go out to the youngest member of the band. He looked so small curled around his pillow sobbing.

Gustav hugged him careful not to touch his abdomen. He had a feeling that the only thing that would make Bill happy was if Tom came back and told him he wasn't mad at him.

But the next best thing would be if Simone came over and took care of him for a bit. A mother's love can heal almost every wound especially one of the heart Gustav gave Bill a tissue and telling him he'd be right back hurried into the kitchen almost afraid to look and see what damage the smallish child had done well on her own.

It wasn't as bad as he had expected there was banana on the floor some splattered on the fridge but all in all it wouldn't take that long to clean up .Sage was another matter entirely she was cover head to foot in the squishy yellow banana and she looked sticky.

Gustav called Simone and talked to her as he cleaned up the floor and fridge doors .Simone sounded worried when he told her that Bill needed her but she understood almost immediately when Gustav told her that Tom was mad at him and Bill was going to go into hysterics if he didn't quit crying soon. Simone said she'd be right over and Gustav could hear her car starting in the background.

He picked up the sticky Sage and was careful not to let her touch him it made him feel sick to think of the sticky yellow banana smeared all over him as well.

He set her on the floor and ran water in her tub. He heard Sage giggle and turned around and let out a gasp of horror not only had she crawled away she'd climbed into the clean basket of laundry and flipping it over was now under the basket which was good considering that now she wouldn't be able to get in anything else but now Gustav was going to have to redo all the laundry and he'd just done it all yesterday.

Gustav glared at the grinning little girl."That wasn't funny. Bad baby!" He tried to stay mad but his good nature and Sages big eyes won him over he sighed in recognition and started picking up the laundry.

Well his attention was on the laundry the tub had filled to the brim and was now leaking down the side. Gustav ran for the tub so fast his glasses slid off into the soapy water and now he couldn't see to top it all off he heard the door open if it was Simone she was going to freak and insist on staying and that was the last thing Bill wanted he loved his mom but he thought she should live her own life now that he and Tom were old enough to live on their own.

Gustav understood what he meant but he could also understand Simone's fears about the boys living on their own. He'd had the same fears he had seen at a much closer range then Simone what trouble the twins could get in together.

They'd moved out and a couple weeks later they had found out that Bill was really sick apparently Bill had been feeling stomach pains and Tom had finally forced him to go to the hospital and that was that.

And then the tables had been turned and everyone but Tom knew that Bill was probably going to die. Tom would on any other circumstance notice right away that his brother was keeping something from him but Sage had kept him distracted.

Gustav was pulled out of his dark thoughts by a snort and then gut busting laughter.

He turned still wiping water off his glasses."Georg! Stop laughing and help me!" Gustav looked flustered and seeing the calm collected Gustav this way made Georg laugh even more. Sage saw Georg and held out her hands. Georg lifted the basket and picked her up Gustav started to warn him but before he could get the words out Georg's front was covered in sticky banana goo. "Eww!"Georg held her away from him.

Gustav glared at him "Now you need to help me clean up this mess before Simone gets here." Georg stopped laughing altogether "How's he holding up?" He questioned knowing what the answer was before he had even answered.

He sighed again and felt again a deep pang for Bill. He was a good kid why'd he have to get sick?

He helped Gustav for a few minutes in silence until they heard the door open and Simone came through the door probably faster then was safe. Gustav pointed toward Bill's bedroom door.

She saw Bill and felt tears sting her eyes and a sob choke in the back of her throat. The way he looked would have made the hardest heart crack. She hurried over to the edge of the bed and gathered her baby to her chest he easily fit in her lap and Simone felt fear surface.

Bill was sobbing so hard that his body jerked in protest every time he took a breath and Simone could feel his stomach muscles tighten with every spasm. Simone wanted to cry even more than before, now her baby's heart was hurting as well as his body.

she hugged him tighter and Didn't want to let go not ever she understood Toms fast escape he'd always protected his little brother ten minutes was not that big off a difference but to Tom it was a huge difference she remembered Tom and Bill coming home from school there little faces bruised and their lips bloodied. Even when they were toddlers if another child stole Bills toy's Tom would get it back for him and now there was nobody to fight no way he could stop his brother's body from giving up on him.

Bill's frail shoulder's shook and he clung to his Moms sweater "H-h-he h-hates m-me!" Even after crying so much Bill's face was still beautiful.

Simone smoothed his hair back it was long again now."No he doesn't, "Simone's voice was quiet and she wiped Bill's eyes with a Kleenex to no avail "He just doesn't want to lose you." Bill shook his head and a fresh flow of tears ran down his cheeks "N-no h-he s-s-said th-th-that I-if I-I'ed l-listened t-to h-him th-then I-I'd b-be f-fine! A-a-and h-hes right! The d-doctor s-said th-that i-f I-I'd g-gone i-i-in s-s-sooner I'd b-be f-f-fine!"As Bill's voice rose in his aggregation his stutters got worse. Simone knew if he cried any harder he was going to vomit and that would not be good he'd die.

Tom pushed the gas pedal to the floor he had to get out had to outrun it all. The mileage arrow moved towards 110 he pushed it harder he wanted to go fast let the wind blow all his problems away his mind whirred.

Bill was going to die! He shied away from the thought but his mind just kept going back to it this was his biggest problem since he'd found Sage some girl thought she was his. She wasn't but by then all of them had fallen in love with her so they didn't bother telling her mother that Tom wasn't the baby's father. Now Bill was dying and he being the idiot he was had not noticed he couldn't believe it had been so easy for his little brother to hide something this big from him this was probably why he didn't like going outside anymore he didn't want to see everything that he couldn't have and would soon leave behind.

Tom rounded a curve on two wheel's this was his race car that he'd paid so much for it had just about cleaned out his pockets and he'd never thought it went slow until now it was two hot in here!

He rolled the windows down and took off his coat he flew through a red light so fast he didn't even notice the semi that he'd barely missed.

His eyes felt funny like they were wet. He wiped at them and when he pulled his fingers away they were wet. Tom stared at them in amazement. Was he crying!

He was so busy looking at his tears he missed the curve and his car spun through the air rolling multiple times before coming to a stop upside down.

A passerby who had seen what happened called the police and ambulance. By the time they got there Tom had crawled out bloody and shaken but alive. Just barely

He didn't move as the medics lay him on a stretcher and examined him they hurried him to the hospital and when asked who to call he told them not to call anyone he'd be fine.

The medics seriously doubted he'd be fine, at the least he had a concussion.

He had blood running from his ears.

Tom was panicking on the inside what if died and never got to tell Bill he was sorry and that he hadn't meant it."It wasn't his fault." He didn't realize he said it out loud.

Tom felt his lungs getting tight like he couldn't breathe he needed a smoke.

He carefully stood and not really having any idea where he was going he walked out of the room.

He got out into the parking lot without getting noticed then a lady with her little boy saw him."Are you alright dear?" She had a motherly air around and Tom smiled at her."Yeah. Um could I borrow your car? I'll bring it back just my little brother is really sick and I need to get home soon." The lady looked like she wanted to say no but she was soft hearted and the boy looked like he was going to start crying and he had blood all over his face and his thin white shirt was ripped just about in half.

She gave him her car keys in exchange for his number so that she could call if he didn't get the car back. Tom also gave her his mom's number so that if she couldn't reach him she could call his mom. Then thanking her profusely he left.

He felt a little dizzy and his skull had a dullish pounding ache .He didn't pay attention to it he had to get back and tell Bill that he was sorry.

Simone was starting to panic Bill was starting to dry heave and if he didn't stop crying he'd definitely start to vomit. She started praying silently that Tom would get home soon. Even when they had a screaming fight he never stayed out for this long he knew how Bill got.

She heard a car in the driveway and almost laughed in relief.

Then he came in he was leaning on the wall and walking sorta crooked his eyes looked glazed, he didn't have his baggy shirt on and the thin white one he was wearing was in tatters and soaked in blood .He looked in a word horrible.

Simone couldn't hold in her sharp intake of breath.

When he swayed over to the chair next to Bill's bed and he was in the light she saw blood trickling over his earlobes.

"Tom are you alright? What happened?" Tom glanced over in the direction she was in "Nothing mom. I can take Bill now."His words were slurred and his eyes looked farther away than before.

Bill wiped at his eyes and looked tearfully up at Tom, Tom smiled and ruffled his hair.

Simone heard Toms voice murmuring to Bill and heard with relief that was short lived Bill's muffled sobs almost completely stopped except for the occasional hiccup.

Then she heard his frantic voice "Tomi? Tomi what's wrong?" She turned and ran for the door it felt like she was running against the tide she needed to get there faster.

She burst through the door and then almost wished she hadn't Tom was lying in a crumpled heap half on Bill's bed and half in the chair there was blood pooling under his head.

Bill's eyes were huge and he was shaking him desperately."Mama why won't he wake up?"Bill's fear was so thick you could feel it.

Simone covered her mouth with her hand both her baby's were dying and she couldn't do a thing to stop it she didn't remember Georg and Gustav coming in didn't remember them making a call didn't even remember the ambulance coming all she could see was her baby's lying still and white never moving.

She saw them when they were little laughing and splashing the water from there kiddy pool all over her paint's.

Saw them when they got tricycles for their 5th birthday saw them laughing and jumping up down in excitement when they got there first gig.

Bill was crying again staring at the still form of Tom lying on the stretcher, his legs under the blankets were wet from his blood.

Gustav saw his face and walked over to the edge of the bed and carefully lifted him up. He was so light that he almost dropped him.

Bill rapped his little arms around his neck and Gustav felt the neckline of his T-shirt growing damp from Bill's ongoing rush of tear's.

Georg carried Sage and led Simone out the door and they all accompanied Tom to the hospital.

When there got there. There was a flurry of activity the heart monitor went straight and beeping filled the back of the ambulance.

Bill heard it but couldn't register what was happening he just kept asking "Why isn't Tomi waking up?" and clinging to Gustav.

"Clear."There was an electronic zap "Clear."And then another "Clear." and another "Cle..."Bill covered his ears "Make it stop!" he wailed curling into a little ball.

The heart monitor started again and Bill watched making little sound's distress as they covered Tom with a blanket and rolled him out the back of the ambulance.

Gustav still carrying Bill followed them in. A nurse in white stopped them and said they couldn't go any farther. But Bill stared at her with eyes so full of pain that she finally relented and let them wait outside the operation room.

Gustav set Bill down on a chair provided by the nurse and went in search of a wheel chair.

Bill sniffled and peered through the little plexi glass window in the door he couldn't see around the crowd of doctor's wearing ugly green coats.

They were standing around the operating table that Tom must be on.

Bill wanted to be in there with him not out here. He remembered when he had gone in for surgery and Tom had sat with him and held his hand the whole time he'd even slept in the hard hospital chair just so Bill would never have to be alone.

Bill was exhausted he didn't remember falling asleep he woke for a few second's when Gustav switched chairs but other than that he slept for 6 hours straight when he woke up again he was leaning against Simone's shoulder.

She had dried tear tracks on her cheeks and bags under her eye's Bill looked around searching for someone to ask if Tom was alright. He saw the nurse from earlier and quickly pushed himself after her "Excuse me, Is Tom okay. Can I see him?" He asked in a rush.

The nurse startled not expecting anyone to be up this late."He's stable and I don't think you can see him but I'm not sure."

Bill looked up at her pleadingly he really had to see Tomi.

The nurse sighed she was a sucker for cute sweet boy's. She let Bill through the swinging glass doors and when she saw how hard it was for him to push his wheel chair she pushed it for him.

When they got to Tom room Bill almost started to cry again his brother was pale and frail looking with needles and breathing things stuck in him.

He pulled himself closer to the bed and carefully brushed Tom's now loose hair off his forehead.

Tom's breathing was so soft it almost wasn't there but when if Bill listened closely he could hear the soft intake and outtake if breath.

Bill clung to Tom's hand like a life line careful not to look at all those needles black lines under his skin.

Bill leaned his head on Tom's shoulder under the blankets. He felt a little comfort as the familiar smell of Tom enveloped him. His eyelids drooped he hadn't slept well in forever and it was catching up to him.

He yawned and rubbed his eyes sleepily he wanted nothing more than for Tom to wake and smile at him with that side way's smirk. Bill felt the familiar sting behind his eyes .He rubbed his eyes harder hoping to stop the tears. His heart hurt he could almost feel how behind the innocent comatose exterior Tom was battling in his head.

His jaw was too tight to have just been an innocent dream. Bill watched fascinated as Pictures flashed into his head. They were awful pictures painful to see and even more painful to think about.

Bill was there but it didn't look like Bill and in between the flashes of horror. Tom was reaching for him and then Bill would be ripped away by the unimaginable creatures.

Bill watched and forgot his tears as he stared at the rare glimpse into his brother's mind. Tom's whole body jerked in response to being torn apart in his head. And Bill was locked out. Bill wasn't just a little surprised that had never happened before. It was always Tom feeling him not the other way around.

When they were little and someone was mean to Bill and Tom beat them up or got beat up. Simone would shake her head and laugh wryly cleaning there dirty faces "It's as if Tom came out first to concur the world and make it safe for you."He remembered Simone telling him.

He had liked that thought but when he told Tom, Tom just laughed and kissed his cheek.

Out in the waiting room Simone was dreaming about her son's. It was back when they were 7 and her and Jorg had been recently broken up. Tom und Bill burst through the door in there muddy shoe's huge grins on their identical tanned angel faces hands full of flower's for her."Look mama! Aren't they pretty? Just like you!" Simone stood up from the table where she had sat wanting nothing more than to break down and cry yet not wanting the boy's to see her so vulnerable.

Yet now she wanted to cry from happiness nothing could replace her adorable twins she knelt down and caught the muddy little body and hugged them as tightly as she could."I love you."She told them. So much for not crying tears rolled unchecked down her cheeks."Mama are you sad?"Little Bill's face was pinched and worried."No Billa mamas happy."Tom told him and then proceeded to explain about happy tears and sad tears."We love you mama."Bill wrapped his arms around her neck. Tom kissed her cheek. Smiling his smile one of the differences between them at the time a sure way of telling them apart; his trade mark sideways smirk. Simone woke her face wet with tears.

Bill wasn't leaning on her shoulder anymore. Simone sat up quickly where was he? She searched panicked behind the large plants somewhere in the back of her mind she knew he wouldn't be there but she was on her breaking point.

A nurse that had checked them in the night before, even though Simone didn't remember her. Upon seeing Simones panic stricken expression she hurried over."Umm excuse me ma'am?" Simone jumped and turned quickly her expression had a strange strangling hope look on it."Umm are you looking for the nice looking young man in the wheel chair?"Simone nodded her eyes were terrified."He's visiting his brother." she said backing away she saw relief flood her face."Thank gawd I thought he might have had to be taken to the emergency room." Her hand was over her heart and her breathing was iraticle.

The nurses sympathized she would have been beyond upset if her sons were on their death beds and she couldn't do anything to help them.

"Can I see them?"Simone asked hopefully .The nurse glanced at the clock. It was now officially visiting hours so she could let her in without getting in trouble.


End file.
